a love that baffles the heart

i thought loving and destroying yourself for someone who made you willingly or by default, is the greatest passion in the world. till i saw someone loving unconditionally unendingly unhealingly, the one who destroyed him. by default and by design. who tore him to so many pieces that he forgot what jigsaw he belonged to. who ate his shell and threw him away, open to the raw jaws of uncertainty. the one who then, inspite of a bloating stomach, went after his core and burned that down as well. who negated him by refusing to acknowledge him. who taught him nothing by choice. who gave nothing and took everything, sometimes even things he didn't have, things he couldn't live without, things i suspect he would willingly give him anyway, had he just said the word. the one who rode on the chiselled shoulders of his stubborn adoration and then promptly chopped off his arms. in that someone's knifemarked back i've seen true hurt. in his refusal to utter a single word of complaint i've heard true devotion. in the silence of his skipped beat at the mention of that other one, i have witnessed a love of unbelieveble strength. a love that feeds on itself. a love so completely self-made that it doesn't need the fuel of a good memory, a loving look, a secret touch, a late night sms, a drunk promise, a word of encouragement, a show of affection, a shield, a smile, a nod, a caress or a shred of hope to keep it going. a love that doesn't fade, no matter how much pain and rejection seeps into its pores. it's as if his love has become him. if it goes away, he will disappear. it is a love i couldn't imagine could exist. it humbles me. inspires me. mocks me. teaches me. makes me feel lucky. makes me feel like a fool.