in the past one year, i didn’t lose my temper even when i was furious.

i learnt that people can be talented and not be evil at the same time.

i unlearnt to write.

i applied cancelled applied postponed shortened and finally went on leave.

made retirement plans. again.

decided never to work with people who don’t respect me. or my team. or my friends.

smiled at white hair.

smiled at white cat.

discovered new music.

discovered new wrinkles.

i stopped running. i stopped asking. i stopped waiting. i stopped looking back.

i jumped off the cliff with eyes shut and without parachute and discovered that i have wings. whoever wants to fly with me, my hands are always outstretched.

i decided that it’s nicer to watch others fighting over my ideas. i believe i'm beginning to win now, slowly, painfully, definitely.

i heard the unique sound effects of pressing the clutch and accelerator together.

i didn’t write as much as i love to.

i didn’t publish much of what i wrote.

i cried through a movie. but then it could be pms.

i met people i’d love to be like.

i met people i’d shudder to be like.

i met peace.

i decided that i have so much to be thankful for. most of all, the gift of seeing what i have.

i decided to see more of my country.

for that i need a retirement plan. again.

i realised that for a lot of people, sorrow is a shiny disco ball. they hang it up when they want to get noticed.

then there are those for whom grief is blood, thought and heartbeat. it will show or vanish only when one of these stops.

i turned vegetarian. no eggs either. it's been a few months and i'm feeling great. i'm weak, but clean.

i made plans to start an animal shelter.

i seriously considered shaving my head. like so many times in the past decade.

i can now talk in decade-terms.

i’m turning 33. but my waist is still 26.

not bad.