it’s ok to want attention

really. just don’t act like you don’t want it. don’t pretend like you don’t like it. don’t talk of it like it just happened. like you didn’t work tirelessly silently stubbornly for it. like you don’t have that deep unbearable desire to be liked by e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. you have it. you like it. you toil bloody hard for it. you want it. you live for it. you pose out every action, every stance, every smile, every flick of hair, every word, every advise, every display of skin and charm and wit, every wistful look out of the window, every soulful crypticism if there ever is a word like that, you pose for it subconsciously as if you know there is someone in the room with a camera. the point is, you fool no one. you crave it. so enjoy it. you’re terrified of losing it. so protect it. don’t hide it. it’s ok. it’s sad but it’s ok. really. you’re worried sick that one day you will wake up and nobody will miss you. because you wouldn’t know what you are without another’s opinion of you. you’d be broken, undone, unfinished without someone else talking about you. you’d be like a child who fears the dark, left in a room without light, without windows, without doors. groping smooth ice walls for the switch. panting drooling grovelling for a hug. looking for anything except the mirror. anything but that. please. afraid of finally facing the real you. with no one around to click on like.